McAfee.com parody

Download this webpage in PDF format McAfee products not used in Chinese Army computer attacks

SANTA CLARA, Calif., August 28, 2007 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — McAfee, Inc. (NYSE: MFE) today confirmed that none of its cyberwar products were used in the espionage software that was used by China's People's Liberation Army to spy on the government of Germany.

"It is true that our company has provided China with offensive computer virus technology," CEO Dave DeWalt stated for the record. "But we were very careful to obtain an implicit agreement that Beijing would only use our Digital Weapon™ products in the pursuit of peaceful international cooperation."

McAfee experts around the world were each given a copy of China's highly classified espionage software so they could search for plagiarized code that might violate McAfee's international copyrights. "Our EULA, which rivals the Apple iTunes EULA, must be protected at all costs," Mr. DeWalt said in an email to McAfee's researchers. "The world must know if the Chinese army violated any of our Digital Weapon™ EULAs."

"If China's army has been using our products in violation of any expressed or implied agreements," Mr. DeWalt said in his email, "then we will pursue them to the full extent of international law."

In a prepared statement, Mr. DeWalt said "McAfee deplores China's attack against Germany and we urge NATO to retaliate with the full force and nuclear might of its allied armies. NATO's invasion of China will send a clear signal to other countries that there are dire consequences to using computer viruses and other digital weapons of mass destruction."

About McAfee, Inc.

McAfee Inc., the leading dedicated security technology company, headquartered in Santa Clara, California, delivers proactive and proven solutions and services that secure systems and networks around the world. With its unmatched security expertise and commitment to innovation, McAfee empowers home users, businesses, the public sector, and service providers with the ability to block attacks, prevent disruptions, and continuously track and improve their security.

NOTE: McAfee, VirusScan, AntiSpyware, ePolicy Orchestrator, ePO, and SiteAdvisor are registered trademarks or trademarks of McAfee, Inc. and/or its affiliates in the US and/or other countries. McAfee Red in connection with security is distinctive of McAfee brand products. All other registered and unregistered trademarks herein are the sole property of their respective owners.


(Original non-parody version of this story published here.)