Twitter founder Biz Stone, speaking by phone on “The Colbert Report,” predicted his company will lose “thousands” of Twitter users in Iran “when the civil war begins.” Stone went on to say he’s “proud” to be stoking a civil war in a second-world country. “Twitter users around the world are dedicated to the notion of free speech. They’ll gladly give their lives in a hail of military gunfire so their children can freely type 140 characters into a cell phone.”

“I of course regret the fact Iran’s Revolutionary Guard will track down Twitter users and kill them for the capital crime of micro-blogging,” Stone added. “But that’s the power of Twitter for you.”

Stone went on to predict “millions of Twitter users” might die if North Korea invades South Korea as is widely expected. “South Koreans will be tweeting nonstop, and North Korean soldiers will have to kill them just to keep a lid on the news,” he said. “We’ll gladly postpone our routine maintenance if it will help more South Koreans to stand before a firing squad…”

An unretouched screenshot of the McAfee AVERT Labs Twitter account. Complete with F-bomb! Click on the image to see it in all its glory. It reads:

McAfeeAvertLabs China Starts Coordinated Internet Blackout Ahead of Tiananmen Anniversary http://tinyurl.com/nmnvoh [RT @circleid:—

Decorum prevents me from quoting the rest of McAfee’s tweet.

Now go read this column…

The Obama administration has deleted an embarrassing piece of text from the president’s “60-day review” of cyber security. The report, released today, culminates a two-month study on the need for a cyber czar who would report directly to the White House, although perhaps not directly to the Computer-in-Chief himself.

The embarrassing text made its way into the report in its early stages, possibly typed by a staffer. Had it remained, the report would have warned the president that “U.S.-allied countries are in fact known to harbor terrorists who specialize in cyber operations that have destroyed billions of dollars of computing productivity over the years.”

The report goes on to say “A short list of countries with high-bandwidth links to the U.S. include allies such as Canada, which is known to be a haven for cyberterror operatives working to attack the United States. One such cyberterrorist, whose name is Michael Calce and who goes by the name ‘MafiaBoy,’ very nearly destroyed U.S. electronic commerce in 2000. Canada has refused over the years to extradite this individual to stand trial in America…”

An advisor to the president noticed the embarrassing text and ordered it redacted, a source tied to the report said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

A spokeswoman for the White House would only say “the President stands by the contents of the final report, not a draft containing content that may or may not have been added or deleted at some point.”

Let’s hope it’s a fake Twitter site. I’d hate to think a cryptography demigod would choose a pink flowery background of his own volition and shout “who dares to disturb my mighty beard?” at his followers. Click here to read Bruce’s omnipotent tweets…

The U.S. Air Force may be feelin’ low over their failure to launch Cyber Command.  Let’s hope this latest string of recaptioned photos will give them something to laugh about…

Click here to see the new & improved photo captions.

Trau­matic brain over­load is common with infor­ma­tion over­loads caused by Inter­net explo­sive devices (IEDs) or pene­trating thoughts. These types of over­loads have become rela­tively common in U.S. mili­tary forces who have remotely logged into Iraq and Afghanistan…

Click here to read the full Air Force press release.

The famous “arrowhead insignia” will bolster morale among uniformed personnel, many of whom are longtime fans of the legendary TV shows & movies. “Our peer-equivalent Airmen will become more effective in cyber and space” because they’ll be wearing the same futuristic emblem on their uniforms…

Click here to read the full Air Force press release.

A “staff summary sheet” reveals that a retired four-star general “said he had heard that Chairforce.com played some sort of role in” the death of Air Force Cyberspace Command. “There is a .85 probability that [the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs] was swayed to request [AFCYBER's] postponement based on the supposed humor at Chairforce.com…”

Click here to read the staff summary sheet.

A member of the U.S. Navy “goat locker” fraternity asked for a motivational poster … based on Air Force Cyberspace Command’s humiliating classified publicity photo. The caption reads “OPSEC HORROR: Sanitize your work area BEFORE the photographer arrives.”

Right-click here to save the motivational poster to your computer. Bonus: click here for a serious review of AFCYBER’s classified publicity photo.