Cyber war criminal executed for 2010 “Stuxnet” attack on Iran

January 31st, 2013 by | Print
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TEHRAN, YEAR 2063 — Mark D. Hedden, age 88, has been executed in the capital of Iran for war crimes he committed as a United States military officer fifty years earlier. Hedden was the commander of a rogue “kill team” that infected nuclear centrifuges with a deadly “Stuxnet” computer worm-virus.

Hedden’s cyber team caused the nuclear centrifuges to explode, spraying innocent Iranians with radiological toxins, resulting in many horribly torturous deaths.

Hedden was apprehended when a medical emergency on his commercial flight forced it to land in Francistan, the country formerly known as France. He was removed from the aircraft and rendered to Iran under a treaty between the two Islamic countries.

Hedden proclaimed his innocence throughout the trial. “I had absolutely no computer warfare experience at the time Stuxnet was created,” he told a tribunal of religious judges. “I only earned a medal around that time for reading PowerPoint slides out loud to superior officers, and for overseeing enlisted personnel who themselves lacked the skills to create Stuxnet. I had nothing to do with its creation, nor its spread, nor was I at any time ‘read into’ any U.S. military program that purported to be hacking Iranian assets.”

Iranian prosecutors submitted Hedden’s performance report from around 2010 that heralded him as one of the Air Force’s “top” cyber warriors. Hedden insisted he wrote that performance report himself, and claimed he routinely embellished what little he actually did throughout his career.

Prosecutors went on to describe the war criminal as “a man whose research papers were distributed to all Air Force personnel around the world.” Hedden dismissed the accusation by claiming the U.S. Air Force was duped by his own gullibility. “I was so incompetent back then, it’s amazing that I earned any promotions and medals at all,” he insisted.

Hedden described his trial as a “farce,” claiming that no Geneva Conventions on cyber warfare had been codified when Stuxnet was created. Nonetheless, the evidence against Hedden convinced the religious tribunal to sentence him to death for the cyber war crimes he committed in 2010 against the people of Iran.

The retired U.S. military officer was hanged by a CAT5 cable immediately after the verdict was handed down.


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